Hold Space for the NOW

This week, I was talking to one of my content creators, Emily, about how I felt like the blog has lacked inspiration since being back in Cambridge. It felt like a writer's slump which can only come from a life slump in a place like this. As we were walking to Queens’ for lunch she drops this poetic bomb, “hold space for the now”. Emily’s sage wisdom was all about how we’re, albeit naturally, focusing on what comes next, we’re losing sight of the experience. 

There’s definitely more pressure this term to apply for jobs, network, and have the next steps detailed out. While we technically have time, that time is rapidly dwindling. It’s already February y’all. I know my goal, and several others in my cohort is to have a finalized job plan by May/June…which will be here before we know it. 

While I’m definitely thinking about the future, I’m also thinking a lot about the past. Reflecting on life choices and experiences in both Houston and Denver. At this point, my best guess is that I’ll end up back in one of those cities and I’m constantly comparing and contrasting those past lives. Where do I think I’ll be happier, where will I have more room for professional growth, heck where will I have the highest chance of finding a boyfriend. 

All these things make it really difficult to hold space for the now. To be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever been great at holding space for the now. I’ve always had tunnel vision when it comes to achieving the goals I set for myself. 

Enter The Midnight Library. Have you ever had a book find you when didn’t even know you needed it? Somewhere I heard good things about this book and before traveling to Norway this week, picked it up from the Judge library for fun reading. On page 13, there is mention of this Norwegian archipelago called Svalbard. Mind you on our way to the airport, Rebecca is telling me about this small town north of Tromso called, you guessed it, Svalbard. I don’t know if that’s kismet or a random occurrence but truly, what are the odds. 

This book is essentially about a woman in her mid-30s who looks back on her life and has a lot of regret about the decisions that were made along the way. The midnight library gives her a chance to explore what might have been if she had made different choices in the past. 

For someone who has spent half her brain power in the past month dissecting the past and the other half trying to predict the future, this book has been quite illuminating. In the book, she explores the lives that might have been. The one where she got married, the one where she moved away, the one where she followed her childhood dreams, and countless others. I look back on the relatively short life that I’ve lived and I don’t have any major regrets. Naturally, there are some moments I wish I could do over and choose to behave differently, but those are the ones that you learn from. But reading this book has encouraged some reflection. 

I can look back and see forks in the road that could have led to different life outcomes. Attending Randolph-Macon instead of A&M, perhaps I would be a lawyer instead of an engineer. If I had decided to stay with the guy who checked all the boxes at 25, perhaps I never would have left Texas. If I had never volunteered at HMNS, I never would have spent a long weekend in Tanzania. Not attending Duke would have meant I would not have had the opportunity to spend two weeks at Oxford taking a class. If I hadn’t taken that class, would I ever have considered international schools for my MBA?

The bigger question for me is, does it matter? The choices got me here and I can’t imagine a life that doesn’t include these experiences. The beauty of choices is that you get to keep making them. Bad choices along the way are inevitable, but that just means you get to learn from them and make a better choice the next time. 

My takeaway is that life is big and there’s no right or wrong way to approach it. For the first time I think I am able to recognize the fun and endless possibilities that come along with that - so future, bring it. 

Enough with that therapy session. 

This week was a build-up to a weekend in Norway as I am on a mission to see the Aurora Borealis!

Monday kicked off with an MBAT happy hour to thank all the team captains for their hard work to make sure that we BTHO Oxford in May.

On Tuesday, Emily and I decided we’re going to start our search for sponsorships. Veja I’m starting with you. Calpak I’m coming for you next. We also attended a lecture at Queens’ about inclusive architecture and it was surprising to see how much of what we’re learning in class was applicable here too. Ended the night with some good belly laughs at Footlights with Maddy! Footlights is the improv group at Cambridge that has churned out some great comics; Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, and Emma Thompson. 

Wednesday included a tour and formal at Jesus College with Abdul and Rebecca. The food was better than expected and Jesus is BIG. Fun fact, the oldest building in Cambridge is on Jesus’ campus. 

Then the true highlight of the week…Rebecca and I started our journey to Tromso! We did a little lounge lyfe before flying to Oslo. We stayed a night there and on Friday morning started the journey to Tromso. 

We were prepared for the cold and I was proud that we were never painfully cold. Layers and hand warmers go a long way!

Our first night included an excursion to do some dog sledding. We were “trained” on how to captain the sled and got to take turns. We had some excited doggos and they wanted to GO FAST. We had some issues with the brakes and our teacher had to remind us that it’s important to hold onto the sled…I’ll leave it at that. 

In the midst of this adventure we looked up and lo and behold we saw some green lights above us! We got a few peeks of the Northern Lights and it was incredible. Makes me want to see more of them. The night closed with some Burger King and some wine in the room, then we crashed hard. 

Saturday brought a cultural adventure. We visited the Arctic Cathedral, walked the big bridge twice, and explored Troll Museum. That night we were able to visit Sami lands and meet lots of reindeer. We were supposed to go for a sleigh ride and hunt for the lights, but the conditions were not conducive for the reindeer, so we just got to feed them. 

 

Reindeers got some attitudes, let me tell you. They were hungry, no hangry, and would use their antlers to push others out of their way to get to the food. We probably should have worn some safety goggles…

After feeding, we went into a yurt, had a traditional Sami meal, and learned about their culture. The table we were sat at had some other Americans. One from New York like Rebecca and one from Colorado sorta like me (I always say I’m from Texas). You’ll never guess where they were off to next…Svalbard. For a town I have never heard of before Thursday it’s been popping up A LOT. Again, is this a sign or just random? Who knows. 

Today, we sauna-ed and made to-go sandwiches at breakfast. We’re college students, and we’re on a budget ;)

Ended up sitting on the tarmac for two hours as we waited for the rain/snow to calm down and take off for London to return to reality!

This is the third trip that Rebecca and I have gone on and I’m so thankful for a friend who’s down to travel, easy to travel with, and most importantly, will throw away her banana peels outside of our hotel room cause she knows I hate the smell. That’s true friendship right there. 

Tonight a big group of Americans and other American Football fans/those curious about the hype behind the Super Bowl will all be meeting at 11:30pm tonight. Wish us luck for our Monday classes. 

If you made it to the end, thanks for sticking around. Till next week!